The “epidemic” affecting the women of western society: A Rant

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Women of the west have been taught
to love themselves,
to respect themselves,
to stand up for themselves,
to be independent,
to think freely,
to stand firmly with what they believe in,
and to hold their own.

Independence and free will have been ingrained in their beings.

They are told that they could be anything that they want when they grew up and they believe it.

The role models:
Harriet Tubman
Marie Curie
Eleanor Roosevelt
Mother Theresa
Frida Kahlo
Rosa Parks
Margaret Thatcher
Toni Morrison
Ayaan Hirsi Ali
Hilary Clinton
Olympia Snowe

They prove that “girl power” does exist
and they tell women that they are
invincible,
unstoppable,
and uninhibited.

As a woman of the west, I believed this

…and then I went to university.

Seriously, what the hell happened?
A strange phenomenon occurs at the bars, the clubs and the parties:
Insecure girls can simply check their inhibitions at the door,
drop their responsibility off at the coat check,
and leave their self-awareness at the bar.
Yes, girls, you can drink to your heart’s content,
you can be stupid, ignorant, and dumb,
and you can dance up on bars;
you can make-out with strangers,
you can go home with different strangers,
and you can even wake up the next day and not have to take ownership for any of it!

Ladies, this is a huge problem.
I have observed this type of conduct in the contexts of western female students (especially those being of American and British cultures).

Today, U.S. president Barrack Obama made a speech calling sexual assault a “college campus epidemic” where 50 percent of sexual assaults in America occur in universities and where 90 percent of all sexual assaults occur when alcohol is involved.

In these same American institutions where there is an “epidemic,” there are flyers advertising the following sentiment:
“My rapist doesn’t know he’s a rapist.”

Here’s where I am throwing up a flag and calling out obstruction–
If you go to the bars, the clubs, and the parties,
if you drink to your heart’s content,
if you’re stupid and make bad decisions,
if you go home with strangers,
you will wake up the next day feeling full of
disgust,
shame,
and regret.

It’s called cause and effect.

Face it:
Did you like the fact you had willingly taken 10+ shots with “your girls”?
Did you like that you purchased your own double shots at the bar?
Did you like that you accepted multiple shots from your best friend, your study buddy, or that random guy from                       down the hall?
Did you like that you had embarrassingly danced on the counter and showed complete strangers your panties?
What about blacking out, did you like that too?
And what about stumbling over to the other side of town after the club closed for the after party?
How about falling down the stairs at a party at an unknown flat?
How did you like being pressured into drinking hard liquor instead of beer?
How’d you like wandering into bed with a stranger that was more intoxicated than yourself?
And how did you like feeling dirty in your worn, soiled clothes from the night before?

Did you like it?
NO!
So, you freaked out.

What could you possibly say to attempt to justify your behavior?
You didn’t want to say anything, so you have no excuse but to take it all back.

Do you remember that you were drunk?
Yes.
Do you remember that you flirted with him?
Yes.
Do you remember that you were the one that initiated the make-out sessions with him?
Yes.
Do you remember that you whispered to in his ear, “hey, let’s get out of here.”
Yes.

Yes, you remember, but you feel
low,
guilty,
and ashamed
after it’s all said and done.

You feel so badly about yourself that you deny it and take it all back because you know that in “the girl that cried rape,” it’s your word against his and the media has shown that the girl always wins.

The mantra of the media echoes a challenge to your faded conscience:
“It’s not your fault.”

So, you lie and cry.

The law states that those who are incapacitated cannot consent to sex.
^What does “incapacitated” mean?
Stumbling?
Slurred speech?
A gibberish text?

If simply being “incapacitated” is the dividing line of consented sex and rape, why isn’t there intervention?
Why aren’t there police officers or security guards standing outside of bars, clubs, and parties?
Why don’t girls exit from one side and guys must exit on the other?

ATTENTION LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, PLEASE KEEP YOUR HANDS TO YOURSELF AND WHERE I CAN SEE THEM.

Phew! No more one-night-stands and no more walks of shame.

Reality check:
What is the real line that cannot be crossed?

In western society, it has become socially normal and culturally acceptable for young persons of the female persuasion to
one: get drunk,
two: make bad decisions,
and three: lie and take it all back.

There is no
ownership,
responsibility,
and acceptance of one’s own mistakes.

Why?
So they can feel better about their actions?
So they can feel better about their “numbers” (which don’t mean anything anyway)?
So they can feel better about
the poor choices,
the stupid decisions,
the mistakes,
the regrets,
the “I shouldn’t haves,”
the errors,
the misjudgments,
the “uh-ohs,”
the shots,
the kisses,
and the (dare I say) SEX?

Oiiiii, I just do not understand.

Isn’t it sad that the western culture of today tolerates and accepts both regret and unaccountability?
Don’t the “girls that cry wolf” realize that they are mocking the real victims of sexual assault and consequently taint society’s perception of women’s credibility as a whole?

No? Forget about yourselves and think of the real victims–
the women that didn’t willingly take a shot from a stranger;
the women that didn’t drink excessively to incapacitation;
the women that didn’t drunkenly climb into bed with a strange guy;
the women that were violently attacked.

When you regret the things that you did when you were under the influence of alcohol and try to erase it all by “crying rape,” you distort the credibility of the real victims in the eyes of the media, police officers and district attorneys and, consequently, you discourage them from speaking up for themselves and for justice.

In “crying rape,” the world’s perspective narrows and sees all females as victims and all men as attackers—
this is completely and utterly false and actually strengthens the argument of gender inequality.

The gray area:
Is there something that stands between rape and a consensual one-night-stand where not every drunken hookup is the result of a violent attack?

This, most certainly, does not imply that girls can go into a situation knowing what is going to happen, and then take it all back the next day.

No, it does not work this way.
Hey girls–
Remember when you were children that you were taught that you can be anything that you want to be when you            grow up?
Remember that you are strong, independent, and fierce?
Remember that you do not have to be ashamed of your sexuality just as much as you are not forced to hide it?
Remember that you can play with the boys and act like them too?

If you remember this, then why are you running from equality?

If you make a stupid decision, you, and only you, are responsible for your own composure, choices, and conduct–
That’s how it is, period.

You don’t get to arbitrarily take the things that you regret back.
You don’t get to be stupid and then be blameless.
You don’t get to be held unaccountable for your actions.
Doing any of the above only sets you back, as an individual and as a society.

It’s time to stop “crying rape” and playing the “blame game.”

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